Megillah Meme

UPDATED: There's now a 13 and 14
UPDATED AGAIN: There's a 15, and a slightly modified 12

Romach has tagged me with the Megillah meme. Since I lain the megillah, and did so this year a total of 4 times, my thought were more preoccudied with certain technicalities of the layning itself, though at the end there are some more general thoughts. Here goes:

1) This 11-line megillah, while beautiful, is really a nuisance to unfold.
2) I wonder if I'll beat my record of a 19-minute reading.
3) Is this word pronounced 'va-yisapeik' or 'va-yisapak'. Better say both, not sure anyone's paying close enough attention.
4) Ve-ha'achashtarpenim is the longest word in all of Tanach.
5) Should I go falsetto when saying 'seris ha-melech'? Should I neigh on 've-hasus'?
6) Damn. Forgot the trope. Whatever, I'll just make it up.
7) When it says that Esther only took what Heigai suggested, is that saying that she's being modest and doesn't want to be selected, or just that she astutely took the advice of an expert?
8) Why the heck is Mordechai hanging out at the king's gate when round 2 of the virgin-gathering commenced? Is he some kinda sick-o?
9) Gee, Achashverosh would have very little incentive to convert to Islam.
10) Gee, did Achashverosh do anything but drink and have sex?
11) Achashverosh is totally Xerxes. No doubt about it.
12) 've-rabim me-amei ha-aretz misyahadim' is a direct reference to [supply name of American post-HS Yeshiva in which amei ha-aretz become more 'Jewish'].
13) Can you people please shut up?
14) "Hey, the Megilla has a chiastic structure" might be the single most obvious literary observation ever. It's like, DUH, that's the POINT!
15) 'and he called for his loved ones and his wife' - it's hilarious that Zeresh isn't one of Haman's 'loved ones'. Maybe, like his relationship with everyone else, his relationship w/ Zeresh was based upon fear. Would shed new light on the Haman=Memuchan theory.

I tag:
Dan, Menachem Mendel, Dovid, and Alan