7/12/2006

HaGaon Emo Phillips

DYM comments on this post that similarities between faith systems often increases animosity, rather than decreasing. Too true, but pretty obvious to anyone not living in a bubble. Heck, even those living in sheltered environments like Monroe and Williamsburg know that.

However, it reminded me of a part of a routine by a comedian named Emo Phillips, of whom I was a big fan in High School:

I was in San Fransisco once, walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this guy on the bridge about to jump...

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! What franchise?" He says, "Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He says, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He says, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?" He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?" He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.

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