Three Tangentially Related (ADD) Musings

• I must say, that for all of the flak that Iran’s taken lately, they’re handling this cartoon controversy the best. The Holocaust cartoon campaign is misguided but nonviolent, nondestructive, and quid pro quo. It will get the message across more effectively than any rioting or embassy-torching. And I think it’s really funny that they took Krum’s advice and are renaming the Danish. Next, the Great Dane will be renamed Mohammed’s Poodle.

• And speaking of large dogs, two years ago I had perhaps my most memorable Megillah reading. I’ve layned the megillah for about 15 years now, and I always try to make a point of finding folks who would otherwise not hear the megillah. That year, there was a woman in the community who was recovering from surgery and couldn’t really move around much, so they asked if I could come by and lain for her. Present for the reading was the woman, her husband, and their three large dogs. Three large dogs in a small apartment means that the apartment smells like dog and dog food. Plus, these were apparently shedding dogs, because I could feel my nose start to tingle as soon as I walked in. Anyhow, at first they tried to lock the dogs in one room while I layned in the another, but the dogs weren’t crazy about that and raised quite the ruckus. So we moved the dogs out to where I was layning, and they calmed down. I was layning at blazing speed, racing against time before I erupted in sneezing fits. 21 minutes was my personal record, and I was going for broke. But the dogs had other ideas. The first time I reached the word ‘Haman’, the (human) couple began clapping and stomping. Needless to say, this spooked the dogs, who started barking like crazy. When they finally calmed down, it wasn’t long before the same happened at the next ‘Haman’. After a little while, the dogs had been well-trained to bark like crazy whenever they heard the word ‘Haman’, much to my chagrin (though Pavlov was no doubt schepping nachas). And inevitably, I started sneezing, but I tried to hold back until the Haman breaks. So every time I said Haman, the couple would be clapping and stomping, the dogs would be barking, and I would be sneezing. I’m glad I can laugh about it now.
  

• And speaking of holidays, we’re in the period between the American midwinter holiday (Groundhog’s Day) and the Jewish midwinter holiday (Tu B’Shvat), but there’s another very important holiday that has just passed - Cellphone Day. It’s the day that the February billing cycle begins, meaning that however many minutes you purchase each month, there are only 20 weekdays to go through all of them, even less considering that Friday afternoons are pretty much out. Everyone has a different one, but if yours falls on a Shabbat or Sunday, it’s nidcheh to Monday, which is the first weekday that you can make calls without cheshboning how many minutes you’re using. No tachanun, because you’re on the phone.